17. The bigoted system of beliefs
Talking to people with bigoted ideas is difficult. Arguing with them is even more difficult. That is (partly) because their bigoted ideas fit into a world view or system, and they usually cannot concede any point without being at odds with their entire world view. Now there are several world views or systems of bigots, but I am just going to focus on one today. It is one that usually underlines a lot of sexism, slutshaming, homophobia and other types of discrimination.
The foundations of the belief system is that “women belong to men” (meaning their husbands or fathers) and “sex is for reproduction”. Obviously if you ask most bigots if they believe that women belong to men, they will say no. It has been a long time since this belief system was built, and the foundations are often forgotten and rotting. But the rest of the system is still shaped by these assumptions.
These 2 foundations create the belief that good sex happens within a marriage for the purpose of making healthy babies, and sex that falls outside that category is bad. This categorizes things like sex outside marriage, gay sex, kinky sex, nonmonogamous sex etc. as “bad sex”, but also things like incest, rape, cheating, pedophilia, and beastiality.
That is why homophobes lump homosexuality together with pedophilia and beastiality. If they shift “gay sex” from the “bad” to the “good” category, what is to bar pedophilia and beastiality from making the same shift? Nothing according to this bigoted belief system. That is the problem with arguing with bigots who hold this (and other) belief system. If they concede one part their whole world view, and their beliefs in many other respects, becomes self contradicting.
That is also why Rush Limbaugh complained that; “You can do anything — the left will promote and understand and tolerate anything — as long as there is one element. Do you know what it is? Consent.” Because consent is not built into their belief system. A belief system built around consent completely dismantles those old notions of bigotry. This is what it looks like;
This belief system categorizes all sex with proper (enthusiatic, sane, safe) consent as “good”, and everything else, incest, rape, pedophilia, and beastiality, as bad.
Of course, these models are not a full and complete picture reflecting the complexity of human nature. They are merely an attempt to illustrate the point I want to leave you with; arguing with other people on a single issue is difficult, because their beliefs are part of a system of beliefs, and conceding one point or issue often requires them to re-evaluate their entire system of beliefs, and adopt an entirely new one.
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Thank you for reading this piece. I don’t have a lot of time to write, and I try to write things in the time that I do have, so please excuse any sloppiness on my part.